


We Were Forever (We Were Fragile)

by BelleMemoire



Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: Angst, Canon Divergence, Emotional Hurt, F/F, F/M, Future, Sad with a Happy Ending, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-28
Updated: 2016-07-25
Packaged: 2018-07-18 21:38:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7331521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BelleMemoire/pseuds/BelleMemoire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maya has been in love with Riley since the beginning, but she knows that Riley doesn't feel the same way. She convinces herself that Riley's happiness is what matters—even if that means pushing her together with Lucas. But some things are just too painful, and when Riley pushes her too far, Maya must choose between her friendship and her own happiness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Starts at 01x20  
> Not beta-ed  
> Title from "Thanks for the Memories" by Sleeping At Last.

“Riley, this isn’t the ‘90s anymore. You want something, you _go get it_ ,” Maya encouraged as they leaned against the lockers. Riley had been agonizing over Lucas for the past hour, and Maya was at her wit’s end. _If he’s the one you want, just go get him_ , she screamed in her head. _Oh yeah, and you always go after what_ **_you_** _want,_ a snarky voice shot back. She squashed the voice down and sighed. She knew that she was being a hypocrite, but Riley needed a cocky go-getter friend right now. She didn’t have time to deal with Maya’s insecurities.

Riley mulled over her words carefully. “You’re telling me you’re not a _little_ bit afraid of this?” Riley asked, cocking an eyebrow. _Yes_.

“No,” Maya said with a shrug. _Liar_.

“You’re saying that if you had feelings for somebody that you wouldn’t be nervous?” Riley pushed. Maya suppressed a wince. She was nervous. She looked at Riley—her long hair gently framed her face; her pink lips pulled into a worried grimace. Her brows furrowed as she stared at Maya, waiting for an answer. Waiting for Maya to tell her that she could relate, that she got the same butterflies in her stomach when she looked at somebody. _But my somebody is you_.

“ _No_ ,” Maya said strongly, emphasizing the word with a sharp nod. “The only thing that makes me nervous is the thing that _everybody_ wants to happen _never_ happens because _everybody’s_ too afraid to make it happen,” she finished, gesturing between Lucas and Riley wildly. _Riley’s somebody is Lucas, you know that_.

Maya gave Riley a look, silently daring her to talk to Lucas. _Go get your somebody_. Riley bit her lip and shook her head. Maya sighed; her suggestive gestures weren’t getting them anywhere. She pushed back the lump in her throat and squared her shoulders. She needed to give the couple a push in the right direction. No matter how much it hurt. Farkle’s voice carried across the hallway, commanding Maya’s attention.

“...So you’re going to ask one of them out?” Farkle asked Lucas as they sat on the hall bench. Lucas mulled over his words, considering. Maya glanced back at Riley, but she was too deep in thought to notice.

“Maybe I will. Someday,” Lucas said, nodding. Maya took a deep breath. _For Riley. Whatever it takes_. She moved to the boys, but Riley grabbed her arm.

“What are you doing?” She whispered frantically, her eyes darting between Maya and Lucas. Maya plastered a confident grin on her face.

“What, I’m just gonna talk,” she said innocently before pulling her arm free. She crossed the hall and sauntered towards the boys, hands hanging cockily on her jacket. “Hey Ranger Rick,” she announced confidently. The boys turned.

“Hey other one,” he greeted with a smile. _Whatever it takes_.

“You want to go out with me?” She asked casually. Lucas froze, his eyes flickering nervously between Maya and Riley. Riley’s mouth hung open in horror. Farkle shot her a confused look, but she subtly shook her head. Now was not the time for her feelings.

“What?” he started, but Maya interrupted him.

“You want to take me to a movie and put our hands in the popcorn at the same time and see what happens or what?” She explained, parroting Mr. Matthew’s paranoid explanation of puppy love. She gave Farkle a pointed glare. _Do your job, Farkle._ He nodded and rushed by Riley’s side, a dopey grin on his face.

“Okay, you and me,” he said to Riley, who was still frozen in horror. He linked his arm with her limp one. “Cuz I don’t care,” he finished smoothly. Riley gasped, her mouth still open in shock.

Maya breathed a sigh of relief, relaxing now that Farkle was playing along. She knew that she would have to explain things to him later, but right now they needed to focus on Lucas and Riley. Everything was for Riley. Maya turned back to Lucas and smiled at his lost scowl. Everything.

  
~ ~ ~

 

Maya bolted from the classroom, her fists clenched in her hands as she stalked down the hall.

“There is still a minute left of detention, Maya,” Mr. Matthews yelled behind her, but Maya didn’t turn around. Instead, she ran a hand through her hair tiredly and made her way to the exit. No matter how much she liked Mr. Matthews, he wasn’t going to keep her at school for a minute longer.

Bright sunlight flooded her vision as she pushed through the heavy entrance of John Quincy Adams Middle School. She sighed and stretched her arms, finally feeling her tense shoulders relax. “Free at last,” she muttered, enjoying the warmth of the spring afternoon. The sun was partially blocked as a figure stepped in front of her, returning the tension to her shoulders.

“Hey Maya, can we talk?” A voice asked in front of her. She screwed her eyes shut for a second, allowing herself a single moment of frustration before pasting a cocky grin on her face.

“Huckleberry, you know that school’s over, right? You can go home. That’s how it works,” she teased Lucas. He smiled, but his humor didn’t crinkle his eyes like it usually did. She sighed, resigning to the fact that this day would never end. “Let’s go to the park, okay? It’s only a block away.”

They walked in silence, Lucas unusually reserved. Not that Maya was complaining. She couldn’t muster the energy to tease him anyway. They stopped at the swings, Maya taking a seat and Lucas leaning against the supporting beam. She met his eyes with a sigh.

“What do you want Lucas? Is this about what I said earlier? Because I didn’t mean it.”

He returned her sigh and crossed his arms casually. “Why would you ask me out, Maya?”

She threw her hands up dramatically and rolled her eyes. “How thick can you two be? Riley likes you. You like Riley. You obviously weren’t going to ask her out, so I gave you a little push,” she said exasperatedly. He shook his head a little.

“Why would you do that?” He asked quietly. She turned her gaze to the woodchips and swung her herself lightly.

“What do you mean? She’s had a crush on you since she fell into your lap on the subway,” she said after a pause.

“I’m sorry,” he blurted suddenly.

She blew a strand of hair out of her eyes, her mouth twisting in mild annoyance.

“For what, Huckleberry?” She asked, pushing against the ground. She kicked her foot, sending small pebbles flying towards his feet.

“For taking her away.”

Her feet dug into the ground, the chains rattling by the abrupt halt. Her eyes shot to his, the blood draining from her face and leaving her a ghostly pale. The air seemed to freeze around her, the noises in the park hushed, the wind calmed the leaves in the trees to a stand-still. He offered her a gentle half-smile.

“You know,” she breathed shakily. He nodded.

“I know.”

She expected his eyes to be judgemental—she expected everyone to be judgemental. But his were soft. Warm. Compassionate. Her hands shook.

“How?” She croaked, her voice deathly quiet. He uncrossed his arms and stuffed his hands in his pockets.

“I’ve been friends with you guys for almost a year. Of course I noticed the way you look at her. It’s the same way I look at her.” She closed her eyes painfully as he kneeled in front of her. “I’m sorry.” She tensed, bracing herself and trying desperately to rebuild her mask. “You’ve liked her forever and then I...I’m just sorry. I won’t date her if...if you—”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Huckleberry,” she interrupted, her voice steely with resolve as she shot to her feet. Her eyes blazed into his. _There is no_ **_way_** _you’re giving up now._ “You should ask her out.” He stood as well and crossed his arms again.

“But I’m your friend too. How could I do that?” He protested.

“Is that it? We’re friends, so you can’t ask her out?” Her lips pressed into a firm line. “Fine. We’re not friends anymore.”

“Maya—”

“No. I’m done with you. There’s nothing more to say.” She crossed her arms.

“If you just—”

“If I just _what_ , Lucas?” She interrupted, her voice rising. “If I just _confessed_. If I just _came out_? Would that make things better for you? If she rejects me then you could date her?” He grimaced and reached for her.  

"Maya, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”

“I’m her best friend, Lucas!” she yelled. “And she’s never going to see me as more than that!” He stared at her, his eyes wide. Her chest heaved up and down as she took a deep breath and gathered herself. “I’m her best friend. And that means being there for her. I will always be there for her. And she wants _you_.”

Her voice broke and she turned away, gritting her teeth and schooling her face into composure. Lucas reached out, but then thought better of it.

“She wants you,” she continued after a moment, her voice calm. “And that’s...that’s fine.” She turned back to him and gave him a half-smile. “It’s fine.” He didn’t look convinced.

“I’m sorry,” he offered once more, guilt pinching his face. She took a deep breath and walked away.

“I don’t need you to be sorry, I need you to make her happy,” she said over her shoulder.

“Maya,” he called. She turned, walking backwards. He finally returned her half-smile as some of the tension eased from his shoulders.

“Thank you for pushing her on the subway.” She smiled sadly and shook her head. That single act—that one push—had started all of this. It had taken Riley away from her. She knew that dwelling on it now would only weaken her resolve, would make her resent Lucas for being on that subway even though he was her friend too. She brushed off the thanks.

“Come on, Huckleberry. Let’s go make her happy.” He jogged to catch up as they headed to Riley’s house—one to ask for her father’s permission and the other to always be there for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, thanks for reading (and hopefully enjoying) the first chapter of my first fic! I know that this chapter was a little short, but they will get longer so stay with me. Second chapter to be posted soon. This work will be six chapters + an epilogue, and new chapters will be posted every couple of days. Any comments or feedback is VERY much appreciated!
> 
> Not beta-ed


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all and thanks for the wonderful feedback/response to Chapter 1! I know that I promised longer chapters, but this one turned out to be a little short. Don't worry—I will have chapter 3 uploaded in a couple of days. I hope you enjoyed, and (as always) any feedback or comments is GREATLY appreciated. Enjoy!
> 
> Not beta-ed

“Alright, Huckleberry. You understand the plan?” Maya and Lucas stood in the alley behind Riley’s apartment building. Lucas took a deep breath and nodded. Maya nodded back. “I’m going,” she said and—after giving him a final nod of encouragement—ran up the fire escape to Riley’s landing.

Maya took a deep breath and peered into the window. Riley was already sitting at their bay window, her mouth hanging open as she undoubtedly drowned in desperation. Maya swallowed hard, her throat tight and her tongue dry as sand, before schooling her face into her usual mask of cocky arrogance. She climbed through the window and took a seat beside her.

Riley didn’t acknowledge her, her mouth still gaping open. Maya rolled her eyes and slowly tucked her hand beneath her dropped chin. With a hiss, Riley tried to bite her hand.

“Yow!” She yelled, pulling her hand away. Riley pointed towards the window behind her.

“Back, traitor,” she scowled. Maya laid a hand on her chest innocently.

"Traitor? Me?” She asked sarcastically. “Could this _possibly_ be because I asked Lucas out?” She batted her eyes innocently.

“You asked Lucas out,” Riley affirmed.

“What, you’re upset?” Maya coaxed. Riley pouted.

“I’m beyond upset. I’m whatever the next one is,” she said, before fixing her with a glare. Maya suppressed a wince.  

“What, you think he’s cute?” She goaded, kicking herself as her voice cracked a little. _Come on Maya, you can do this_. Riley finally caught on to what she was doing and tried to tame her fury.

“He’s aight,” she said casually. Maya looked away and took a steadying breath. Riley had it bad, and both of them knew it.  

“What, you wanted him to ask you out?” Maya asked, cocking an eyebrow at her friend. She paused and gave a small sniff.

“Maybe, but now you’ve ruined my eight year plan,” she replied, her eyes narrowing. Maya grinned despite herself and shook her head.

“Riles, you’ve been all goofy about Lucas since you fell into his lap on the Subway.”

“You _pushed_ me,” she retorted.

“And now I pushed _him_.” Riley looked at her, confused.

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Maya said gently, shaking her head. Riley scowled.

“I am worried. I am worried about our friendship which you’ve called into question on this day,” she said, emphasizing her point with her finger. _You have no idea what I’d do for this friendship, Riles_. Maya stared at her. Even when they were together, all she could think about was him.

“Oh, okay, you wanna ask questions? Go ahead,” she challenged, leaning in. Riley leaned into her, staring into her eyes. Her breath caught in her throat, the smell of Riley’s lotion flooding her senses.  _Focus_.

“Why did you ask him?”

“How long have you known me?” Maya shot back, her stomach still turning at the thought that Riley would question their friendship. Riley barely registered her question, much to Maya’s chagrin.

“Where are you taking him?”

“You think I would hurt you?” Maya pressed, growing desperate for an answer. She knew it was selfish, knew it was against all that she had done up to this point, all that she had resolved to do—but still, she wanted Riley to think of her, of their friendship, over Lucas. She wanted her to cherish this moment that they had—a moment without Lucas, without complications and rejection and moving on. Just this once, that would be enough.

Riley paused, considering. Instead of flipping her attention, though, Riley just resigned to the fact that Maya would get the boy.

“What are you going to wear?” She asked, her voice defeated.

“You don’t think I have a bigger plan?” Maya asked, exasperated at both Riley and herself for getting distracted. _Riley wants Lucas. You know that. You’re okay with that._

“Can I _at least_ be your maid of honor?” Riley bargained.

“Of course,” Maya said, touching Riley’s shoulder comfortingly. “When I marry anyone else in the _world_ besides Ranger Rick.” Riley pulled away.

“What, you’re just going to date him and then throw him away?” She asked incredulously.

“Hey wackjob,” Maya started.

“Yes?” Riley answered hopefully. Maya smiled.

“He doesn’t want to go out with me,” she said, shaking her head. “He’s not going out with me, he’s never going out with me.” Her words finally seemed to get through to Riley, because she paused her desperate questions.

“Well...if he doesn’t want to go out with you, then...do you not want me to go out with him?” Riley asked sadly. Maya’s heart clenched painfully. _More than you know_ , she screamed in her head, but she locked that voice away. Lucas made her happy. She wanted her to be happy. That would be enough.

Maya returned Riley’s sad smile. “Come here.” She motioned with her hand and scooted closer. Riley leaned her head into the crook of her neck and Maya closed her eyes tightly. _That would be enough_.

“Life is changing, isn’t it,” Riley said as she nestled into Maya.

“Yes,” Maya agreed, turning to look at Riley’s face. Her long lashes dusted her cheeks as she looked up at Maya, her dimples dotted her smile, a lock of hair fell into her face ever so slightly. Maya resisted the urge to tuck it behind her ear. Maya smiled. “But this never will.” _I love you._

The doorbell rang, pulling Riley away from Maya’s shoulder. Maya looked towards the door, her mouth drawing into a resigned smile. Lucas was here. The one that Riley wanted.

“Who’s here? I wasn’t expecting anybody,” Riley asked, hope and excitement spreading across her face like wildfire. Maya smiled at Riley. She could never bring that look onto her face.

“Oh, I was,” Maya responded slyly, encouraging Riley’s hope. _Be happy_.

“You,” the girls heard Cory accuse from the front door. Lucas’ voice floated down the hall, lighting Riley’s face like a christmas tree.

“Come on,” Maya said, pulling Riley to her feet and pushing her towards the door. “You’re prince charming is here.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all, I promise to keep this short :) Thank you to everyone who has supported me with a comment or kudo, your positive feedback has been wonderful! Chapters are getting progressively longer, so I will have a new chapter within the week. So without further ado, hope you enjoy!

Cory and Lucas squabbled as they made their way into the apartment. The rest of the family stood by the couch, silently giving Lucas their support. And why shouldn't they? Lucas had every right to ask Riley out, and everyone wanted this. _Maya_ wanted this.

She _should_ want this.

Maya smiled as Lucas shot her a silent plea for help. _This_ she could handle. This was easy, normal. Not so painful.

“Topanga, we really need to talk,” Cory said over Lucas’ shoulder.

“Cory, we really need to talk,” Maya mimicked, diverting his attention away from the couple. Lucas shot her a wordless thanks.

“Good, help me,” Cory said as Maya led him to a chair.

Maya patted Cory on the back, her voice calm and serene. “When a father turns a certain age, things will start happening to you that you don’t understand—it’ll confuse you,” she rushed on, hushing him with a hand, “but it’s a magical time,” she finished with an angelic smile. His brow furrowed as he turned to her.

“Shut up,” he scowled. She rubbed his shoulder patronizingly.

“Look, this is all normal and it’s just your body’s way of telling you that you. Are. A. Woman,” she said, emphasizing the last four words with a poke. Cory turned away, confused and disgruntled. _That’s one down_.

She turned back to the couple. “Look, if it makes you feel any better,” she said, turning back to him. _Just to make sure that he stays down…_ “Don’t think of it as a date, think of it as a beautiful fantasy world that only includes the two of them,” she pointed to the couple, “and not you anymore,” she finished with a smile.

Topanga crossed the room with a proud smile. “I appreciate you, Maya,” she said, wrapping her arm around her shoulder. “I think you’re pretty fierce.” Maya beamed back at her.

 

The front door opened as Josh sauntered into the room. “Hey kiddies,” he greeted with a charming smile.

“Uncle Boing,” Maya simpered, falling into Topanga’s arms. Lucas shot her a look, but Maya avoided his eyes. _I’ve been pretending for so long that it’s like second nature now_ , she thought sadly as she righted herself.

Cory perked up behind her. “Ma brother,” he said, pointing.

“Ma brother,” Josh returned. “Hey, I come with news.”

“Thank you, I’m good,” Maya smiled at Topanga, patting her arms reassuringly.

“I’m joining the NYU pre-college program,” Josh announced excitedly, “so I’ll be here all summer.”

“Okay, I’m no good,” Maya said, falling into Topanga’s arms once more. _How do I stop?_

“Josh, would you do me a favor,” Cory started, crossing the room, “And explain to your niece that she is _way_ to young to go out on her first date.” He pushed Josh towards Riley.

 _Disapprove,_ a small voice in Maya’s head chimed. She squashed it down.

“Niece,” Josh said, looking into Riley’s eyes seriously. Maya’s hopes soared, despite her desperate attempts to keep them at bay. “What kept you so long? Welcome to the party guys! Enjoy,” He finished, pushing Riley into Lucas. Maya’s heart sank as the couple smiled at each other. She kicked herself. _Hope is for suckers_.

“Get out of my house!” Mr. Matthew’s yelled.

The day’s events and her talk with Lucas and the pain in her chest and the years of pretending all propelled Maya forward as she walked towards Josh. “I’ll go to the party with you, Josh.” Lucas’ brows furrowed slightly, but she couldn’t stop.

“Still too old for you, Maya,” Josh said, backing away. _And wrong for me. So wrong for me._

“Three years,” Maya dismissed, “What’s three years in the history of love?” _Me and Riley are the same age_ . “They found some caveman footprints. A man and a woman. They didn’t know how old they were,” she pushed, following Josh as he backed away. _I need to stop_. “All the scientists could tell was that they were holding hands. You know why?” _I can’t stop_. “That was all that was important.” _Someone stop me_.

Josh stared down at her. “Wow Maya.”

“Keep looking at me.” _Anyone_.

“Ooh, you know what’s really important,” Josh rushed, pulling out his phone, “is I have my first appointment with my campus advisor downstairs.” He bolted from the room, and Cory closed the door behind him in a hurry.

 

“So I have everybody’s permission except—Cory?” Lucas confirmed, turning to the man in question. Cory immediately protested, but Maya wasn’t listening anymore. She lowered her head and screwed her eyes shut. _Why do you do this every time if you’re gonna feel like crap afterwards?_ Her throat constricted painfully. _Are you that desperate that you have to hound after Riley’s **uncle** in order to get her attention? Or what, you want to convince her that you’re normal? That you’re just a silly girl with boy problems like everyone else? _ To her horror, tears pricked her eyes. She pressed her lips together and took a steadying breath. To be fair, she liked Josh. He was smart, hardworking, easy to talk to. Most admirably, in Maya’s eyes, he was a loving part of the Matthews family. He was, and had, everything that Maya had ever wanted. He just wasn’t the right Matthews for her. _Not that you’ll ever get the right one._

The front door opened, briefly pulling her from her self-loathing.

“Greetings Matthews, I’ve come to ask Riley out on her first date now that Maya has asked out Lucas,” Farkle announced with a triumphant smile. He shot Maya a reassuring wink, and some of the pressure eased from her shoulders. She turned to the rest of the room.

Topanga gave Maya a knowing smile even as her husband flipped out. “You lit the fire, huh?”

“Somebody had to push these two kids together,” Maya reasoned. Lucas’ face pinched with a hint of guilt, but Maya squashed it with a pointed look. _She wants **you** , Lucas _.

“Fine, you have my blessing,” Cory conceded. “On one condition. I want this to be a double date. If you are going to go out with him,” he pushed Riley towards Lucas, “then _you_ are going to go are going to go out with _him._ ” He pushed Maya towards Farkle, much to her amusement.

“That works for me because you’re Riley or Maya,” Farkle said, grinning from ear to ear. Maya raised an eyebrow and snorted.

 

Despite her outward aversion to Farkle, she was more relieved he was there than she let on. Farkle knew about her feelings for Riley, and around him, she didn’t have to pretend to be someone else. Rather, he had agreed to pretend with her and keep her secret. While his lady killer attitude made her outwardly cringe, it also showed her that he was on her side. He would always pretend for her.

Farkle had figured out that she was gay in fifth grade: It was winter and the three of them were playing outside during recess. Riley was running around, making snow angels in the small park behind the school. Maya rubbed her hands together, shivering in her thin jacket as she took a break on a nearby bench. Farkle sidled next to her and took off his gloves.

“What are you doing?” She asked, eyeing him suspiciously. He smiled gently and offered his gloves to her.

“You look cold,” he replied simply. She paused before offering him a smile.

“Thanks,” she said as she hastily slipped on the warm gloves. His smile grew and he nodded his acknowledgement.

They sat in peaceful silence, enjoying the crisp air and watching Riley throw loose snow in the air and laugh. Farkle smiled.

“You know what I love about Riley? She tells me I can do something even when I don’t think I can, and she—she always expects people to be their best selves, no matter what. She’s so idealistic, you know?” Maya started, thrown by Farkle’s serious confession. Farkle professed his love for them on a daily basis, but rarely did they have real discussions about their feelings. She opened her mouth to retort with a teasing comment, but thought better of it when she saw his face. He was smiling at Riley, who was lying in the snow again and sliding her arms against the snow. She turned back to Riley, an affectionate smile tugging the corners of her lips. _He really loves her. Like I do_.

“You’re right, she’s pretty great,” she said wistfully, chuckling softly as Riley stood to admire her snow angel. Farkle turned his gaze to Maya, his eyes soft with sadness. His lips parted, but he quickly pressed them tightly as if swallowing the words back. Maya eyed him suspiciously. “What,” she demanded.

“You love her, don’t you,” he said quietly.

She froze, her smile suddenly empty and plastic on her face. _He knows._ Her throat closed, her head spun, her fingers tingled. _He can’t know. How can he know? No one knows. Breathe. Obviously he doesn’t know. He can’t_. She took a deep breath and locked her panic away, guarded by a mask of confidence.

She snorted loudly, her mouth pulled into an obnoxious grin. “Well, duh. She wouldn’t be my best friend if I didn’t,” she said, her words sounding fake and dull. Farkle said nothing, instead peering at her face with solemn eyes. His eyes screamed what his mouth wouldn’t: _You know that’s not what I meant_.

She swallowed nervously, her smile fading. She wasn’t fooling either of them. With a heavy sigh, she kicked the snow and stared down, suddenly finding it impossible to meet his eyes. Her heart pounded.

“So what,” she whispered defensively, little chunks of snow flying from her boots. She closed her eyes and prayed for recess to end. For Farkle to just walk away instead of rearing at her in disgust like she feared—like she knew—he would. They all would.  

Instead, he wrapped his arm around her and turned to look back at Riley.

“That makes two of us. Let’s take good care of her, okay?” She stared at him, her eyes wide as saucers. He met her eyes, his smile nothing but kindness and compassion. He was on her side.

“You can’t tell her,” she blurted. He nodded seriously. “I can’t lose her, Farkle.”

“I know,” he said. Her heart eased a little. The bell rang, signalling the end of recess. Riley waved at them and jogged through the snow, and Farkle stood to go inside.

“Promise me,” she pushed, grabbing his hand and stopping him. He covered his bare hands with her gloved ones, offering her a smile.

“I promise, Maya,” he swore. “You’re my friend too, and I don’t want to lose you either.” She stared at him, scanning his eyes for any hint of insincerity. She found none.

“What are you guys doing?” A bubbly voice called as Riley approached them. Maya released Farkle’s hands and turned to the rosy-cheeked girl.

“Nothing, Peaches,” she said as a huge grin spread across her face. Farkle was on her side. He accepted her—no, even better, he understood her. She stood and wrapped her arm around Riley’s shoulder. “Let’s go inside, it’s cold.”

 

“Dad, you can’t just tell her who to go out with on her first date,” Riley protested, pulling Maya out of her reverie. Maya gave Farkle a subtle wink before turning towards the room, her face a mask of annoyance and disgust. Truthfully, Maya liked hanging out with Farkle when the others weren’t around. When they were around though, Maya and Farkle were experts at maintaining their love-hate relationship.

“Oh, don’t think of this as a date, Maya,” Cory cajoled, his face splitting with a mocking smile. “Think of this as a magical time on a journey to include—” He made a loud fart sound before sinking onto the couch, thoroughly pleased by his cleverness. Everyone rolled their eyes.

Riley turned back to Lucas, her face glowing with excitement. Lucas began, “So—”

“Yes.” Maya suppressed a wince.

“Riley—”

“Yes.” Each word was like a knife. _This is what you wanted. You did good._

“Would you like to go out with me?”

“Yeeeeeeeeeeeeay!” Riley did a little happy jerk, her smile spread from ear to ear. Farkle shot Maya a sympathetic look but she subtly shook her head. She was fine. It was fine.

The couple turned to Maya.

“Our turn,” Maya mouthed to Farkle with a small smile. He grinned at her slyly.

“So Maya—”

“No.”

“Would you—”

“No.”

“I mean it Maya,” Cory said. Maya gathered herself with a sigh.

“Would you whatever he’s doing with her?” Farkle finished in a rush. Maya paused for a moment, considering. She could stop this. Right now. If she said no, Lucas and Riley wouldn’t be able to go out on their date. Cory would probably even praise her for it. They could return to their bay window and pretend like none of this had happened.

She turned back to Riley and Lucas. Lucas smiled weakly and nodded. ‘ _I’ll respect whatever you decide.’_ She looked at Riley. Her eyebrows were raised in hopeful expectation, her eyes alight with complete trust—trust that she would put Riley, their friendship, above all else and say yes. Complete trust that she would ensure Riley’s happiness, that she would let her be happy with Lucas. Maya couldn’t say no.

So she said yes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick shout-out to Gabby_ThisGirl. I never expected my story to be this successful, so its a little mind boggling to find someone so enthusiastic about my work. Thanks girl, I hope I won't let you down :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! Here is chapter 4, chapter 5 to come within the week. Thanks to all who have been following my story, I hope you enjoy!

The next evening, Maya and Riley walked to Bleecker St. Station to meet the boys. Maya eyed Riley—her curled hair bounced as she walked, the skirt of her dress swaying. Her lips curled into a content smile, her arms swinging wildly. Maya smiled at her childlike excitement.

“Gah, I’m so excited I don’t know what to say,” she exclaimed, clasping her hands together and half-turning to Maya. “What if I don’t have anything to say?”

“Honey, you guys were friends before this date. Just talk about what you usually talk about,” she advised with a chuckle. Riley furrowed her brow in concentration before fully turning to Maya.

“I don’t know what we usually talk about! It’s all a blank,” she panicked. Maya grasped both of her shoulders and gave her a gentle shake, dislodging a wispy curl from her half up-do.

“You’ll be fine,” she reassured and reached to tuck the lock behind her ear. “And if you don’t know what to say, I’ll be right there to help you. Okay?” She soothed her hair into place, her finger running lightly through her curls. Her fingertips accidentally brushed her temple and Maya held her breath. Riley took a deep breath and let it out slowly, oblivious to the fluttering in Maya’s chest.

“Okay. You’re right. I’m ready,” she said. She huffed determinedly and turned towards the subway entrance, the wispy curl falling back into her face again.

“Riley—” Maya called, but cut herself short. Riley turned back towards her, already one step into the subway entrance. Her lips were curled in a half-smile, her eyebrows raised expectantly. Maya wanted to pull her back, to take her away from the subway and down the street and back to their bay window where it was just the two of them, like it had always been. She wanted to go back to that moment when Riley was freaking out and the only one that could calm her down—the only one she needed—was Maya.

Though Riley didn’t say anything, her bouncing leg and drumming fingers belaid her impatience and excitement. Maya couldn’t go back. Neither of them could go back. Their time together was over.

“Nothing, nevermind,” Maya finished with a small sigh. Riley cocked her eyebrow, but Maya shook her head and gestured for her to continue. With a wide smile, Riley flew down the stairs, each step taking her closer to Lucas. Maya followed behind, each step dragging her further away from their bay window.

 

The four of them boarded the subway; Maya’s heart constricted as Riley and Lucas moved for the double’s seat—the same double’s seat where they had first met. Riley smiled.

“Well, this is pretty easy so far,” she said as she sat down. Lucas returned her smile, the two of them already in their own world.

“Because we’re already friends,” he agreed, taking the seat next to her. Maya and Farkle remained standing and held onto the pole in front of them.

“Let’s always be friends no matter what happens, okay,” Farkle said with a goofy smile. Maya returned with one of her own. _Always_.

“Yeah, first let’s see what happens,” she said instead. Farkle agreed easily.

“I don’t want to change things—it’s just like us hanging out at school,” Riley agreed, shooting Lucas another affectionate smile. Maya looked wistfully at her smile, wishing that it was for her. _Things need to change_. “What could possibly go wrong?”

Lucas’ smile slid off his face as he glanced over Maya’s shoulder. His eyes flickered nervously to Maya and she followed his gaze.

Josh was sitting with his tour guide, a mixture of longing and heartache marring his normally happy-go-lucky face. Maya sighed. To be honest, she was more interested in the attractive college girl than her supposed “crush.” But she knew that she would have to pretend for Riley’s sake, who was already looking at Maya with sympathy and worry.

“Sophie, um, I thought we connected pretty well,” Josh said, touching the beautiful brunette’s arm as she stood and stopping her. She gave him a pitying look.

“I’m going to be a junior, _junior_. I got a couple years on you, don’t I?” He scrambled for an answer.

“It’s three years. You think three years matters at our age?” He reasoned. Maya rolled her eyes. It had mattered to him when he ran out of the Matthews’ apartment like his pants were on fire. Not that she was worried about her age—Riley was the same age as her, and that’s all that mattered. _So is Lucas_.

Sophie gave Josh a look. “Yeah, I do,” she said before walking off the subway. Josh followed her with his eyes before sinking into the subway bench. Maya felt a twinge of sympathy for Josh as she looked back at her friends. She knew what it was like to want something that she could never have, and she recognized the lost and disoriented look on Josh’s face. She had worn it many times herself, though always away from Riley. She sighed and made her way to Josh.

Josh looked up at her as she stood in front of him, her face the picture of cool casualness. “Maya?”

“She pulled that three years older thing on you, huh?” She asked, motioning towards the door. He gave an awkward chuckle, trying to pull himself together.

“Yeah, I really put myself out there,” he said in mild disbelief. She suppressed an empathetic wince.

“Oh, I’m sure I couldn’t possibly identify with your pain,” she said sarcastically as she sat beside him. He scooted to give her room. “Cavemen? Footprints? Hold hands?” She reminded him.

“Hurts, doesn’t it,” he shot back, her sarcasm seeming to lift his spirits a little. She narrowed her eyes.

“A little, yeah,” she agreed _._ He smiled at her.

“How do you deal with it?” _I’ll never find out because I’ll never tell her_. She pretended to consider. Josh needed to take his mind off of the fresh rejection, not to hear life advice from a middle schooler.

“Well me, I’ve got this dungeon of sadness,” she offered mysteriously. Josh raised an eyebrow.

“Oh yeah? You got me in there?”

“Oh yeah,” she continued. “You and a whole flock of ballerinas.” He cracked a smile—a genuine smile—and leaned back. Maya did the same, looking back at her friends. Lucas and Farkle looked back with mild concern and a little amusement. Riley, however, was too busy panicking to notice. Maya smiled and shook her head. It took Maya’s supposed heartbreak to finally draw Riley’s attention away from Lucas. _If I ever confess, Riley will never look at him again_ , she joked sardonically as the subway slowed.

With a final smile, Josh got off the subway. Immediately, Riley was by her side.

“What happened to your date?” Maya asked, looking back at Lucas. Riley shrugged and smiled.

“We had a good time, but then my friend got all _needy_ ,” she joked back, smiling. Maya’s heart skipped a beat. _If you pretend to be hurt, she’ll call this whole thing off and walk you home._

“Yeah, I know how that goes,” Maya said instead with a smile. “Thanks for being there for me.”

“Hey, I’m sure you’ll make it up to me someday,” Riley said sweetly. Maya looked back at Lucas—he was staring at Riley the same way Josh had stared at Sophie. Her heart twinged with compassion.

“How about now,” Maya offered, grabbing Riley’s hand and pushing away the selfish voice in her head. Riley cocked an eyebrow at her, but her face was already alight with excitement.

“Again?” Maya nodded and let go of her hand, letting Riley backstep into Lucas’ lap. Her hand immediately felt empty, cold. She dropped it limply by her side and longingly watched them as they talked, their faces close and their voices intimately low. Farkle gave her a look, but she just shook her head. _It’s worth it to see her happy_ , she reminded herself.

Suddenly, Riley placed her hands on Lucas’ cheeks. Time seemed to slow. _Please_ _no_. Riley’s cheeks were stained pink as she leaned in. Maya’s heart skipped. _No!_ Gently, she pressed her lips to his, her eyes fluttering closed.  

The world stopped. Riley sat up, offering Lucas a sweet smile. A smile that used to be reserved for her. Maya’s hands were ice against the pole; her face turned ashen. Her breath caught in her throat, and suddenly there wasn’t enough oxygen in the subway car. Suddenly, the passengers around her were pressing too close and Riley was still smiling at him and she didn’t need her anymore.

Warm hands grabbed her shoulders, pulling her back to the subway car. Brownish-gray eyes filled her vision, framed by worried brows. Farkle. She stared at him, unable to process anything but the details of his face. He rubbed her shoulder and stared back, his eyes filled with compassion. She opened her mouth, but her voice was gone. Words were gone. Riley was gone.

“I know,” he said, still blocking her vision. She vaguely registered that he was purposefully placing himself in front of the couple, that he didn’t want her to see Riley looking at Lucas with those eyes and that smile and that affection and lov—

She couldn’t think about Farkle’s kindness right now. She couldn’t think of anything. Riley was gone, and the world had turned upside down.

  


They stepped off the subway—Lucas held Riley’s hand and led her onto the platform.

Maya mutely followed them with her eyes, still unable to process what was happening. A small voice in her head told her that this was her stop, that she needed to follow Riley and Lucas off the subway, but she couldn’t pay attention to that now. The gap between the subway car and the platform was a canyon and suddenly Riley was so far away, impossibly far away.

Firm arms lead Maya towards the exit. “Come on, Maya. We need to get off too,” Farkle said, leading her towards the happy couple. Maya tried to pull herself together, but she couldn’t seem to reset herself. Riley noticed.

“Are you okay, Maya? Is this about Josh?” she asked, patting her on the back. Maya closed her eyes painfully, trying desperately to shut out the world. “You’re too good for Josh, Maya,” she continued, getting herself worked up. Farkle winced, his face ashen with dread. Maya focused all of her energy on breathing. In. Out. “You are the best friend I could ever ask for, Maya. I mean, you made this whole date possible!” In. Out. In Out. “If he can’t appreciate you like I can, then he doesn’t deserve—”

“Riley,” Farkle interrupted, his voice a little too sharp. She turned to him, surprised. He soothed his expression with a sigh and lowered his voice. “We’re all pretty tired, so why don’t I walk Maya home.”

Riley began to protest, but Lucas chimed in. “That’s a good idea, Farkle. Come on, Riley, I’ll walk you home.”

“But—” The boy’s efforts finally pulled Maya from her stupor and she gave her a weak smile.

“I’m okay Riles, you should finish your date with Lucas. You two can finally be alone for a little bit.” Riley’s face lit up, then scrunched with internal conflict. _One more push and then this will all be over._ _I just want it to be over_. “Come on, Farkle,” she said, grabbing his arm and pulling him towards the stairs. “See you on Monday.”

“Not this weekend?” Riley called hopefully. Maya froze, one foot on the stairs. She scrunched her eyes, her body rigid with pain.

“You don’t have to,” Farkles muttered. Maya ignored him and turned back towards Riley.

“That’s what I meant. See you tomorrow,” she corrected, plastering a smile onto her face. Riley beamed back at her and took Lucas’ hand once more.

“See you tomorrow!” She waved, her face the picture of happiness. Her chest constricted painfully.

“Come on,” Farkle said, pulling her up the stairs. Maya followed him absentmindedly, keeping her eyes on Riley and Lucas until their linked hands disappeared from view.

  


Quiet sobs filled the otherwise-calm street of Greenwich Village. Farkle stared up at the sky, trying to give Maya some privacy as she desperately wiped her eyes. She frantically gulped, forcing herself to take even breaths.

“God, I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” Maya said, rubbing her eyes raw. “This is such a ridiculous thing to cry about and—” Her vision filled with more tears and her chest heaved. “God, they won’t stop. Why won’t they stop?”

“Because she broke your heart,” Farkle said simply. She stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and stared at him. He turned to face her, his voice steady. “She broke your heart.” Wet, hot tears slid down her cheeks.

“She broke my heart,” she repeated, the finality of it finally sinking in.

“I know,” he said with a heavy sigh. She wiped the last of her tears away, the clarity of reality finally calming her. Riley was gone. That was it. She had always known that this day would come; she had always known that Riley was too good to be true, too good to last.

Farkle continued down the street and Maya followed. They walked in silence, lost in the events of the evening. Finally, Farkle’s voice broke the silence.

“Have you ever thought of giving her up?” Maya shot him a look, her reddened eyes narrowing.

“Have you?”

Farkle shrugged innocently. “Fair enough,” he agreed, and they returned to their silence for a moment. “But things can’t stay like this.”

“Why not?”

It was Farkle’s turn to shoot her a look. “Do you really think that you can handle it when they go on another date?” Her stomach turned with dread. “When he spends more time with her than you? When the bay window becomes their place instead of your place?” She closed her eyes painfully, rejecting the words. That wouldn’t happen. Riley wouldn’t let that happen.

“I’ll just have to figure it out,” she said, but her voice was weak. She wasn’t fooling either of them.

“Maya.” He stepped in front of her, forcing her to pause. He looked her in the eyes. “You deserve to be happy, too.” She ripped her gaze away and walked around him.

“You don’t understand. Riley is all I have. My mom’s never around, my dad left, Shawn is still up in the air. Riley has always been there for me—she’s my best friend. I can’t give her up. I can’t.”

“But you’re miserable—”

“I’ll have nothing.” This time she paused, forcing Farkle to look her in the eye. He held her gaze. “She is everything to me.”

“Maybe it’s time to be your own everything.” Her face was blank, his words incomprehensible. Farkle sighed.

“Look, next year we’ll be in eighth grade and then we’ll be in high school. I think my parents are going to send me to a private STEM-based school.”

“You won’t be going to high school with us?” Her voice was small.

“I don’t know yet,” he hesitated. “But maybe you should consider that too.”

“What, going into STEM? Farkle…” she said, her lips finally pulling into a half-smile at the thought. He returned her half-smile with one of his own.

“No, an art school.” Maya sputtered incredulously but Farkle ignored her. “Maya, you have talent, and despite what you always tell yourself, I think you could make it if you really tried.” Maya closed her mouth wordlessly. Riley had always told her to go after her dreams, but no one had actually told her that she was good enough to make it. Farkle smiled. “At least think about it: A high school geared towards art? That’s your dream, Maya.”

“But leave everyone?” She rushed, the very idea churning her stomach. As much as it hurt her to see Riley with Lucas, Maya still got a few moments with her. To not have anything...

“Maybe that’s the point—to start over,” he said. He sighed and looked up, his neck craning towards the inky black sky. Maya scanned the outline of his face, illuminated by the yellow glow of the street light. _He’s scared_ , she realized. He didn’t want to leave their friends as much as she didn’t, but he was going to anyway. He had always been there for her, but now he was trying to do something for himself.

“Farkle, I—” Her voice faded as he turned back to her, his face illuminated by a melancholy smile.

“At least private schooling, if not an art school. Just think about it.” Their eyes locked.

“Okay.” Farkle’s smile grew as Maya finally gave in. Maybe he was right.

“Okay,” he confirmed.

They walked the rest of the way in silence, listening to the faint sound of traffic that seemed to blanket the city. Maya looked up, her eyes scrutinizing the inky sky for any celestial light, any glimmer of a star. They passed under a street lamp, the bright amber drowning the darkness in its manufactured glow. She sighed. There was no light to be found.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all, thank you for all of the feedback on the Chapter 4! I know that the last chapter was a sad one, but unfortunately things must get a bit worse before they can get better. I promise that things will work out in the end. Next chapter will be posted within the week. Hope you enjoy!

_A year and a half later: June 6th, the summer before freshman year_

 

Maya rounded the corner and began humming as she made her way to Riley’s house. Today had been the perfect day—Shawn had flown in from Seattle, where he had finished his latest assignment. Her mom had offered to drive him from the airport, much to Maya’s excitement.

“Don’t you need to check into your hotel?” Maya asked Shawn as they settled into the car. Immediately, Maya kicked off her boots and stretched her legs across the backseat. Shawn turned to Katy instead of answering her question.

“You haven’t told her yet?” He asked Katy, his mischievous grin matching hers.

“Nope, I knew you’d want to see her reaction.” Maya rolled her eyes, her fingers drumming impatiently. There was nothing she hated more than being ignorant to what was going on, and Shawn and Katy knew it.

“What are you guys talking about? What haven’t you told me?” Maya asked suspiciously, cocking her eyebrow in expectation. Their grins grew.

“Maya,” started her mother, “Shawn is going to be staying with us.” Maya’s jaw dropped, and Shawn held up a finger.

“And I’m going to be staying for the rest of the summer,” he finished before waving his hands in a half bow. “Now you may proceed to freak out.”

Maya opened and closed her mouth wordlessly, her eyes as wide as saucers and her mind completely blank. Shawn threw his head back and laughed. “You look like a fish! Jeez, this is better than I thought.”

“Really?” Maya finally croaked. Shawn wiped invisible tears from his eyes.

“Yeah, I mean, I knew you would be surprised, but to stun The Maya Hart speechless—”

“No, not that,” Maya interrupted, her face finally beginning to unfreeze. “You’re staying for the summer? With us?” He grinned and patted Katy on the shoulder.

“Yup. You guys are stuck with me.” Maya blinked, processing the news. Finally, her mouth stretched from cheek to cheek as she let out a giant whoop. Shawn laughed and joined her, filling the car with shouts and victory singing. Katy rolled her eyes and laughed.

“You guys are a bunch of children,” she muttered affectionately.

“And you’re stuck with us all summer. Yes!” Maya yelled, rolling down her window and belting a victory song out the window. Katy laughed, and together they sang all the way home.

 

Maya smiled, still reveling in the glow of a perfect morning as she entered the alley behind Riley’s house. With a practiced leap, she grabbed the fire escape and pulled it down before racing up the stairs. Riley would be ecstatic by the good news, and she couldn’t wait to see Cory’s look of jealousy when he learned that Shawn was staying with her, not him. She rounded the platform and started on the last flight of stairs when she froze, her eyes landing on Riley.

Riley sat in their bay window, leaning against the window frame as she scribbled annotations in her book. Her long hair shone in the sunlight, thin caramel streaks highlighting the cocoa waves. Her nose crinkled as she sniffed absentmindedly, absorbed in her summer homework. The breeze from the always-open window blew her hair away from her face, revealing long dark lashes and big innocent eyes. A honk from the street below drew her attention away from the book and to the window.

“Maya! Is Shawn all checked in?” She beamed at her friend, flashing her with full lips and perfect dimples. Maya stared for a moment longer before returning the smile.

“Riley, you’re never going to believe what happened,” she started, bounding up the steps and through the window.

 

“Here,” said Topanga, setting a BLT sandwich on the table. Cory smiled at his wife and sighed happily as he reached for a sandwich. It was at his lips, his mouth opened hungrily, when the door opened. Cory looked up and dropped his sandwich on the table as he sprang up from his chair.

“Cory!” Shawn said and smiled and opened his arms in invitation.

“Shawney!” Cory beamed and tackled Shawn with a hug. Topanga wiped her hands on a kitchen towel and smiled.

“Hey Shawn, how you doing?”

“Topanga.” He returned her smile and gave her a hug.

The girls ran out of Riley’s room, their feet excitedly pounding against the wooden floor. “Hey Riley,” Shawn greeted, moving around the couch to give her a hug. Maya smiled happily and sat on the couch armrest. Riley followed her example and sank onto the couch, her head leaning against Maya’s arm.

“So how was your flight?” Cory asked, his mouth still pulled into a goofy grin. Maya snorted.

“Not too bad,” Shawn returned, taking a seat next to Maya. “And this one made my arrival that much better.” He nudged Maya and her grin matched Cory’s.

“Did you check into your hotel?” Topanga asked. Shawn grinned sheepishly and shared a look with Maya.

“Actually, I’m staying with Maya and Katy.” Cory sputtered, much to everyone’s amusement. Maya grinned at Riley evily.

“And he’s staying all summer,” she added smugly. The girls chuckled warmly as Cory grabbed Shawn’s shoulder.

“We have a couch,” he said, his voice childish and pouting. “Topanga won’t mind sleeping there for a month or so.” He waved offhandedly towards Topanga, his eyes trained on Shawn.

Topanga narrowed her eyes at her husband. “Yeah Shawn, Cory loves the couch. In fact, he’s gonna sleep there tonight.” He gulped dramatically and returned to her side, his head hung defeatedly.

Shawn chuckled. “Thanks Topanga, but maybe another time. I promised Maya that I’d be there for her freshman orientation.” Maya shot him a panicked look and Shawn slammed his mouth shut. _‘You haven’t told her?_ ’ He mouthed. He gave her a look, but she was too frantic to notice.

_I know I should have, but how could I?_

Riley looked at Maya. “What orientation? We don’t have orientation,” she said slowly, her brows furrowing in confusion as she processed the new information. She stood slowly, her back to Maya. Maya followed her to her feet and walked towards her.

“Riley, I wanted to tell you but…” Riley cut her off as she turned on her heel, her lips quivering accusingly.

“You’re not going to Abigail Adams next year?” She asked incredulously. Maya reached for her arm, but she shook her off. Maya blinked, her chest tightening painfully. _This is it_ , she realized, her face going pale, her hands shaking slightly. She was going to have to tell her. There was no other way.

Maya dropped her empty arm, letting it fall limply by her side. “Let’s talk about this in your room.” She headed to Riley’s room, her mind still spinning empty from her revelation. Riley hesitated but followed a moment later.

 

Cory and Topanga turned to Shawn, their faces a mixture of shock and concern.

“What’s going on, Shawn?” Cory asked seriously. Shawn sank into the couch with a sigh. Cory sat next to him, Topanga taking the armchair to their right.

“Katy and I decided to send Maya to Henry Tanner High School this fall,” Shawn explained heavily.

“But isn’t that—” Cory started.

“A private art school, yes.” Shawn finished. He looked at Topanga, ignoring Cory’s flustered sputtering. She was unusually quiet—silent resignation replaced the shock that he had expected. She looked him in the eye.

“Why?” She asked quietly, but her face told him that she already knew. He didn’t respond.

“She’s going to tell her, isn’t she?” Topanga asked sadly. Cory flicked his eyes from Shawn to Topanga and back again, growing more confused by the second.

“She wants to move on with her life, Topanga,” Shawn confirmed quietly. Topanga’s eyes filled with tears. “It’s the same reason I moved from New York,” he continued. “Riley’s moving on with her life and Maya...well, she’s not going to be a part of it anymore. She needs to move on.”

“I know,” Topanga whispered, wiping a stray tear from her cheek.

“Will someone explain what’s happening?” Cory sputtered finally. Topanga turned to her husband, her grave expression sobering his exasperation.

“Maya loves Riley, Cory,” she said. His eyes flickered between Shawn and Topanga.

“I know, they’re best friends. So why isn’t she going to Abigail Adams?” Topanga scooted to the edge of her chair and took Cory’s hands in hers. She looked into his eyes.

“Maya _loves_ Riley, Cory.” He slowly leaned back, understanding paling his face. Shawn rubbed his neck tiredly.

“Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t either of you tell me?” Cory asked, his voice small as he looked at his two best friends. Topanga sighed.

“She never came out to me herself. I just...noticed,” she closed her eyes. “It wasn’t my secret to tell.” Cory rubbed her hand understandingly. He looked at Shawn.

“But then…” Shawn frowned and turned towards Riley’s room.

“We’ll see,” he said. Topanga and Cory’s eyes followed him to Riley’s door. They would just have to wait.

 

Riley stormed into her room, her eyes locking on Maya. She was sitting by the bay window, staring out at the street below. Riley crossed her arms, silently challenging her to continue their conversation.

Maya took a deep breath, trying to draw her strength. It didn’t help—her legs still felt like jelly as she turned to look at Riley. “I’m going to Henry Tanner High School next year.”

Riley blinked furiously, rejecting Maya’s admission. Her throat worked, trying to form words that weren’t there. Maya twisted her fingers together nervously.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Riley said finally, her words heavy as lead. Maya smiled sadly.

“Because you would try to talk me out of it.”

“Of course I would!” Riley burst, running to the window and sitting next to Maya. Their knees bumped lightly as Riley faced her, and Maya cherished the small contact. _How many more of those will I get?_ “You’re my best friend, Maya. Of course I would talk you out of it. I _am_ going to talk you out of it,” she insisted. Maya flinched. _Friend_. That was all she would ever be.

“You _can’t_ talk me out of this, Riles,” Maya insisted, gently taking her hands. Riley clung on desperately.

“Why? What possible reason could you have for abandoning me?” She demanded. Maya’s mind raced, frantically scrambling for an excuse. _This is happening too fast. I’m not ready to tell you. I can’t tell you_.

“I want to study art,” she blurted. Riley blinked.

“But you can do that at Abigail Adams,” she said slowly. Maya desperately tried to recall the conversations that she had with Shawn a month ago. They had gone over every possible benefit and drawback of her transfer. What had they said? Why couldn’t she remember? Riley’s big brown eyes dug into her’s, and her mind was a blank slate. This wasn’t working. Maya stood and turned away, desperate for some distance. Some clarity.

“It’s better at Henry Tanner. You know that,” Maya reasoned, her voice empty and flat. Riley frowned, unable to refute it. “I want to do art, Riley. I really want it. And if...if I can’t afford to go to college, then this is my best shot,” she hesitated, loathe to bring up her family problems. Riley’s brows furrowed, desperately trying to think of a solution. _You can’t fix everything, Peaches_.

“Then I’ll transfer with you,” she resolved stubbornly. Maya sighed. _Stop Riley_.

“You can’t do that,” Maya reasoned. _I don’t want to hurt you._

“Yes I can—”

“I don’t _want_ you to,” Maya rushed, whirling on Riley. Her voice sounded foreign in her mouth, impossibly cold and hard. Riley froze.

“You d-don’t want to go to school with me?” Riley asked quietly. Her lip trembled and Maya wanted nothing more than to wrap her in a hug and breathe in her warmth and just _be_ with her, even if she regretted it later. She didn’t move.

“I want a new start.”

“A new start at school...or a new start from me?” The words were knives in Maya’s heart and she took a sharp breath. She closed her eyes, guilt and sadness washing over her in waves. _I don’t want to leave you, but what choice do I have? What else can I do?_ Riley studied her expression, reading the pained helplessness in the tired crinkles around Maya’s eyes. “Why?”

Maya’s eyes flew to Riley’s, her throat clenching at the bone-deep sadness that stained her once-happy expression. Her response was a hoarse whisper.

 _“_ I love you. _”_

Riley’s hurt confusion gave way to affection as she stood and reached for Maya.

“I love you too, Peaches,” Riley said warmly. Rather than soothe, the words were like shards of glass, each one dripping with naivete and condescension. _She doesn’t get it. Of course she doesn’t get it_. “That’s why I don’t understand why—”

“No, I’m _in_ love with you.” Riley froze, her empty hand dropping limply at her side. Maya closed her eyes painfully.

“Maya, that’s not funny,” Riley chuckled nervously after a beat. “You’re my best friend, I think I would have kno—”

“Stop!” Maya yelled hoarsely, her whole body rigid with pain. She knew, she _knew_ that Riley didn’t feel the same way. Still, how could she have known that it would hurt so much? “I have been in love with you since we first met. With you and Lucas—“ her voice broke. Riley stared at her, horrified as the weight of her words began to sink in. The subway. The first date. The kiss. Maya took a deep breath. “I—I just need a fresh start. I need to move on.”

Guilty tears trailed down Riley’s cheeks. “I didn’t know,” she whispered. Remorse flooded through her, and Maya wished that she could erase the last five minutes and just be Riley’s friend again.

“I know,” she whispered back, her voice broken. Riley sobbed harder, frantically rubbing the tears away.

“You can’t leave. I can still be your…I’ll break up with Lucas.” Riley’s voice grew faster and more frantic with each promise. “I won’t date. I’ll never date anyone again. I’ll be celibate for the rest of my life and just stay with you and you can’t leave me. I love you.”

Maya stopped breathing. She had longed to hear those words for as long as she could remember, but actually hearing them was more painful than she could have possibly imagined. Riley would never love her—never be _in love_ with her. Her confession was just a futile attempt to hold onto her. To go back to the way things were.   

“You’ll never love me the way I love you,” Maya bit out.

“I can try!” Riley cried frantically, surging forward and grabbing Maya’s hand tightly. Desperately.

Maya just shook her head, refusing to process another hellish word. “It doesn’t work that way, Riley.” Her name was needles against her tongue.

“No! I already love you, I’m sure I can fall in love with you.” Maya tried to pull her hand back, but Riley wouldn’t let go.

“You’re not gay!”

Riley stepped towards Maya, and the sudden proximity brought Maya’s heart to a grinding halt. She let go of Maya’s hands only to cup her cheeks instead, her warm hands splaying across Maya’s cool skin. Maya’s eyes flickered to her lips. _She’s going to kiss me_. Riley bent her head, the smell of her perfume intoxicating. _I should stop this_. She met Riley’s eyes and found only grim determination, not the passion and tenderness that she had dreamed of. She didn’t want this. “Riley…” Maya breathed, but Riley pressed her lips against hers and nothing else mattered. Maya’s eyes fluttered close, and she allowed herself one moment to forget—forget that Riley wasn’t gay, forget that she would never love her. Forget that she had Lucas.

It was Riley that pulled away first. She wrenched her hands away from Maya’s face, her skin feeling cool without the warmth of Riley’s touch. Riley took a jerky step back, sadness and regret staining her eyes a deep brown. They considered each other for a moment.

“I’m not gay.” The words were a broken whisper. Maya offered her a small smile, but her response was heavy with melancholy.

“I know.”

Riley stumbled to the bay window and collapsed, her knees clinking together weakly. She desperately buried her face in her hands. “But I made you come on my date.”

“I know.” Maya crossed the room and sat beside her.

“I kissed Lucas...Oh god.” Her shoulders shook with small sobs of guilt. “How could I not know? All those times you helped me with Lucas…”

Maya’s eyes burned and she bit her lip to keep the tears back. She had done enough crying. “I wanted you to be happy.”

“Maya, I’m—” Riley looked up, the apology hanging on her lips. Maya interrupted her.

“It’s okay, I just...” Maya’s voice wavered, and she stood in a final attempt to keep herself together. She took a steadying breath and turned back to Riley. Her eyes roamed over Riley’s face, suddenly desperate to memorize every detail. The shine of her hair in the sunlight. Her salt-stained cheeks. Her large puffy eyes. The quiver of her bottom lip as she took a shuddering breath. Maya’s voice was helplessly small.

“It’s time for me to be happy.”

Riley’s eyes flooded once more, but she fought them back and offered her a watery smile. “I know.”

Maya ripped her gaze away from Riley’s face, and she finally headed to the door. “I’ll—I’ll see you...around,” Maya finished lamely. She closed her eyes and allowed herself a single moment to reminisce on happier times: Exhibiting her artwork because Riley forced her to. Lying awake when Riley slept over for the first time. Sitting and talking in the bakery. Laughing at something Riley said, sometimes just to see the pleased glow on her face. Her golden smile, dotted by tiny dimples. Her perfume. Maya’s name on her lips. _Bye, Peaches_.

“Be happy, Riley,” Maya whispered, and with a final deep breath, she strode through the door. Leaving Riley behind.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Trigger warning: excessive alcohol consumption (v mild description)*
> 
> Thank you for all of the wonderful feedback on Chapter 5! I never expected people to read this story, let alone leave kudos or post amazing comments, so thank you :) Here is Chapter 6, Chapter 7/the epilogue to come within a few days. Enjoy!

_One week later._

 

Maya swayed to the music as a nameless brunette passed around a bottle of tequila. Someone pressed cool glass into Maya’s hand, and she gulped the shot down with a grimace. Maya’s eyes landed on the attractive brunette and the girl smiled, flashing Maya a glimpse of dimples. Maya’s chest clenched tightly. _Riley has dimples_.

With a deep sigh, Maya pulled her phone out of her pocket and scrolled through her contacts. Her head throbbed with the music as she stared at the bright screen, her finger hovering over the call button. _What do I have to lose?_

She closed her eyes and stabbed at the button, pressing the phone to her ear. The phone rang and rang and rang until Riley finally—

“Maya?” Maya frowned as a deep male voice answered the phone.

“Shawn what’re you doin’ where’s Riley?”

“She went to the stor—wait, where are you? Why aren’t you at home?” Shawn’s calm voice turned panicky. Maya shook her head, grimacing as her temples screamed in protest.

“I’m hanging out with friends,” she said, trying to make her voice as steady as possible. She could practically feel his frown over the phone.

“Maya, are you drunk?” She shook her head more violently.

“No I’m not drunk. You’re fine.” She nodded at the brunette as she refilled her shot glass. Shawn said something about coming home, but Maya tuned him out.  _Riley schmiley. I didn’t want to talk to her anyway._

“What? Maya, I don’t know what’s going on but...” Maya grimaced, realizing she had spoken the words aloud. _No more thinking_. She took another drink, her mouth twisting at the burning bitterness. Then another. Another. Another.

“...so I really think you should come home.”

…

“Listen, I know that I’m not your dad but you’ve been acting pretty wild lately. Maybe it’s time to call it a night, okay?”

…

“Maya? Are you there? Maya? Maya!”

Nothing.

 

~ ~ ~

 

“Maya, stay with me!” A voice cried. Maya tried to see who the voice belonged to, but her eyes were so heavy and the dark was so peaceful. “Maya, don’t you dare! Stay with me. Maya!” She struggled to open her eyes; bright light flooded her vision, dissipating into blurry faces. But her eyes were too heavy, the light was too bright.

“We’re losing her,” another voice said.

“Maya!” The light was getting dimmer, returning her to blissful darkness.

“Sir, you need to stay here,” a distant voice commanded. Maya didn’t care about the voices anymore. All she wanted was quiet. Darkness.

“But that’s my daughter, that’s—”

Finally, the voices stopped. Peace.

 

“You shouldn’t be here,” a man said. His voice was gentle, but strong. Definitive. A girl sniffed.

Maya slowly opened her eyes, panicking at her alien surroundings. A monitor beeped to her right, drawing her attention to the equipment. To the IV in her arm. She looked around. She was in a hospital. Why was she in a hospital? The last thing that she remembered was—

“I know,” a girl’s voice said quietly, drawing her attention away from her shaky memory. Riley. She was here. “But I couldn’t _not_ come.” Someone sighed.

“I know.” Shawn. “But she shouldn’t see you.” Riley sniffed again, her voice trembling slightly.

“This is all my fault,” she said. _No._ Maya crained her head, vainly trying to see through the frosted windows. A small hunched figure brought her hands to her face, wiping away tears. _Riley_.

“This is Maya’s fault, not yours,” Shawn said angrily, putting a hand on her shoulder. Riley cried harder.

“But I drove her to this,” she blamed herself. Shawn lifted her chin, forcing her to look at him.

“Look at me.” The sobs were replaced by quiet sniffling. “If this is anyone’s fault, it’s mine. I knew that she wasn’t handling it well, but I didn’t do anything. I should have been there for her,” Shawn’s voice was laced with guilt. “This is _not_ your fault, understand?” He continued. Riley nodded. Shawn turned towards the room, and Maya snapped her eyes away from the window. Carefully glancing back at the frosted glass, Maya felt silly for hiding. Shawn couldn’t see her, so what was she doing? Still, guilt and regret gnawed at Maya like a cancer. _I really messed up._

“Listen, I don’t mean to push you but Maya’s gonna wake up soon. I don’t think you should be here when she does.” Riley nodded.

“I understand. You’ll keep me updated, though, won’t you?” Shawn pulled her into a hug.

“Of course. Say hi to your parents for me.” Maya closed her eyes as Riley walked away, each step echoing in the empty hall and reminding her of that day. The day when everything fell apart.

After Maya left the Matthews house for the last time, she had locked herself in her room and refused to come out for two days. Shawn and Katy had been beyond worried, but nothing they said could coax her out of her room. After a few days, though, Maya had begun going out again. She found a group of NYU students and spent her nights partying and drinking. Katy was too busy with work to notice, and if Shawn caught on, he didn’t say anything. Still, Maya never pushed it this far. She never let herself get out of control, only wild enough to numb the festering hole in her life. Last night had been different, though. It had been a week since she had last seen Riley, and when she met that brunette with the same smile—

Maya opened her eyes as the door clicked open. “You’re awake,” Shawn said, stepping inside and closing the door. He sat in the chair next to her bed, running a hand through his hair tiredly. A lump of regret lodged in her throat. He looked so haggard, and she had done this to him. She was going to lose him too.

“Please don’t leave,” she said quietly, her voice small and childlike. Startled, he looked up, his eyes turning soft. “I know I messed up, I really messed up, so...so please don’t leave me.” Her dad’s face flashed in her mind, and she closed her eyes fearfully. A warm hand covered hers.

“I’m not,” he promised. Relief flooded her, springing tears to her eyes. “But you really messed up.”

“I know.”

“You have so much talent Maya, and you waste it all for—for what? Too much beer? Drunken strangers? What were you thinking?” His voice rose, and her lip trembled. She closed her eyes.

“I’m sorry.” _Don’t leave._

“Things are never going to get better for you if you don’t let them.” His voice softened. “You need to let things get better.”

“I’m sorry.” _Please don’t leave me._ She stared at the blue bedsheets, shame reddening her face.

“Your mother’s been worried sick. She was here all night, and I finally convinced her to go home for a little bit. She’ll be here soon.”

“I’m sorry.” _I can’t lose you too._ Shawn sighed. They sat in exhausted silence, Maya trying desperately to keep her tears at bay.

“Needless to say, you’re grounded for all eternity,” he finally said, a lace of humor threading his voice. Hot tears slid down her cheeks as she chuckled despite herself. He was staying. He was really staying.

The door clicked open, drawing both of their attention. Katy strode into the room, deep bags lining her eyes. She moved to the bed, sitting on the edge gently.

“Hi, baby,” she said, gently wiping Maya’s tears away. She gave her mom a watery smile.

“I’m sorry, mom. I’m so sorry.” More tears spilled from her lashes. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

Katy shushed her and pulled her into a hug, stroking her hair gently. “It’s okay baby, I know.” Gradually, Maya relaxed into her shoulder and rested her eyes.

They stayed like that until the doctor came to check up on Maya. Until he reported that Maya would be okay. They would all be okay.

 

_Three months later_

 

Maya shifted nervously, her leg bouncing as she sat in the front office of Henry Tanner High School. Since her counseling sessions had ended a few days before the start of school, Katy and Shawn had decided to excuse her from the first week just to make sure that she was okay. _That I could handle normal life_ , she thought sardonically before quickly brushed away the thought. She had broken their trust, and a couple months of counseling wasn't going to erase that.

She looked around the office. The walls were one giant mural, and Maya got lost in the thousands of colorful tiles spinning around and around the room. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad.

The door clicked open and a middle-aged man in a tweed jacket stepped into the room. He smelled like oil paint, and he had a smudge of charcoal on his sleeve. Though Maya was automatically averse to authority figures and teachers, she liked him immediately.

He smiled at her and extended his hand. “Hello Maya, my name is Robert Hale. I am the Principal, but I also lecture sometimes,” he noticed his sleeve and rubbed it with his other hand,  “as you can see.” He gave her a sheepish smile, rubbing the charcoal off his fingers. “Welcome to Henry Tanner High School.” Maya shook his hand and smiled.

“Hi,” she said, unable to control her grin. “I’m really excited to start here. These walls are incredible.” He beamed at her.

“It’s one of my favorites,” he agreed, looking at the walls fondly.

“ _One_ of your favorites?” she asked excitedly. He eyed her curiously.

“You’re a shrewd one, aren’t you,” he observed. She pressed her lips together but he laughed and waved. “Don’t worry, that’s a good thing here. And yes, we have many murals around campus. A group of students started the Mural Club last year, and almost the whole school joined and covered our walls with beautiful work.” Her lips parted in awe. “In fact,” he went on proudly. “One of the student who started the club will be your guide today. She will show you to your classes and introduce you to your instructors.”

Someone knocked on the door. “Come in,” Mr. Hale called. A girl opened the door and stepped inside, looking around and immediately spotting Maya.

The air sucked out of the room as the girl smiled. Her electric purple hair was pulled into a french braid, stray tendrils framing crystal eyes and a petite nose. Her lips were painted a deep red, bringing out the warm tones of her hair. She smiled and Maya could only look at her, awed.

“Hi, I’m Erin Hickman. I’m a sophomore here,” the girl said, grabbing Maya’s hand and shaking it vigorously. Her smile was infectious and Maya mirrored it dumbly. She looked at Maya expectantly.

“I’m Maya Hart,” Maya rushed, snapping out of her stupor. What was wrong with her? _Be cool, dummy_.

“Ms. Hart was just admiring the walls, Ms. Hickman,” Mr. Hale said, folding his hands behind his back. Erin turned to Maya and beamed. Maya flushed.

“Aren’t they great? This one took the longest, but it was well worth it,” she gushed, her hands waving wildly as she talked. The bell interrupted her, changing her expression from blissful excitement to horror. “Oh my god, we’re going to be late!”

“I’ll write you a pass, Ms. Hickman,” Mr. Hale said with a chuckle as he reached for the pad on his desk. He scribbled his signature and handed it to Erin, who accepted it gratefully. She shot an apologetic look to Maya. “Let’s go, I can talk on the way.”

Maya nodded, and they made their way out of the office and down the brightly colored hall. Maya shot Erin a glance, nervously wracking her brain for something to say. She had promised herself that nothing would change, that she would still be the same bad-ass Maya who ruled John Quincy Adams with an iron fist and a pair of killer leather boots. But walking down the vibrant halls with Erin sauntering at her side, she was suddenly overcome with a bolt of doubt. What if she wasn’t good enough? What if she didn’t fit in here? What if transferring had been a mistake? What if her week’s absence was too long and she would be too far behind and—

Erin must have recognized the panic in Maya’s eyes, because she gave her a knowing smile and slowed her pace. “I felt like that on my first day, too,” she said casually.

Maya shot her a grateful smile. “Am I that obvious?” She asked, her mind still swimming with endless doubts. The girl gave a little shake of her head.

“Not at all, I just recognize that look: It’s the same one I wore last year,” she said with a little laugh. Her voice was soft, and Maya looked at her slowly. Erin continued. “Everyone starts with the basics, so you don’t have to worry about being left behind. What do you like to do?”

Maya smiled fondly, thoughts of painting drowning out her previous worries. “I like painting and drawing, although I haven’t really tried anything else. I don’t know, I didn’t get serious about doing art until a few months ago.” Erin smiled knowingly, and Maya eased a little.

“I was the same,” she said, earning a raised eyebrow. “No, really,” she promised with a little laugh. Maya’s heart stuttered. “I went to a private school, so our art department was really small. Coming here really changed things for me, though. As Mr. Hale mentioned, a bunch of upperclassmen friends helped me start a Mural Club last year, and the school was really supportive. I would never have been able to do that if I hadn’t come here.”

“Yeah, I really love the mural in the office,” Maya agreed, beaming at Erin admiringly. Erin faltered a little, blinking rapidly, but Maya was too busy gushing to notice. “I couldn’t believe how many colors you guys used. How did you get that many shades?”

“Um, we baked our own ceramic squares,” Erin responded distractedly, her gaze trained on Maya intently. Maya’s eyes grew wide.

“You can do that here? That’s awesome! I haven’t done much 3D work, but ceramics sounds really fun,” she said dreamily. Erin considered her carefully, her eyes roaming Maya’s face.

“I think you’re going to like it here,” she said, finally returning Maya’s excited smile with a warm grin of her own. Maya looked at her, surprised. Riley’s mind flashed in her mind, but Maya pushed the thought away. Erin looked away, a slight flush coloring her ears and cheeks at Maya’s lack of response. Maya smiled slowly, her attention solely dedicated to her the girl in front of her.

“I think I’m going to like it here too,” she agreed. Erin’s gray eyes met her brown ones and she smiled, stopping at a door on their left.

“This is our drawing classroom,” she explained, resting a hand on the door knob. “Ready?”

Maya took a deep breath and nodded, staring intently at the bright yellow door. Erin opened the door and together they entered the sun-bathed room, closing the door behind them with a click.


	7. Epilogue

Maya beamed, her eyes growing misty as she looked at the man she loved the most in the world. She had never allowed herself to prescribe to wishful thinking; hope only led to inevitable disappointment, and her life had been proof of that. Hope was for suckers, and she never let herself to forget it. But looking at him now, she allowed herself to a moment to wonder if she had been wrong—maybe this time would be different. Maybe this time she could hope without regrets or the bitter taste of disillusionment. She desperately wanted to believe that this was the case, because today—this moment—was the happy ending that she had been feverishly awaiting for three years. She looked back at him, and he was glowing with happiness, his blue eyes shining under the dim lights of the dance floor. He caught her eye and winked, his eyes bright with affection and pride, and Maya knew this was a moment that would stay with her.

“I can’t believe your parents finally got married!” Erin said, sinking into the seat next to her and leaning in. Maya tore her eyes away from the twirling couple and smiled at her girlfriend.

“I know, I’m scared that it’s all a dream and I’m going to wake up,” Maya said wistfully, leaning into Erin’s shoulder. Erin pressed her cheek into Maya’s hair and kissed her head.

“It’s not a dream, Maya,” she promised, smiling against her hair. Maya sleepily hummed her agreement, and the two sat for a moment longer, enjoying the soft pulse of the music.

Erin moved away and stood, holding out her hand. “Come on, lazy, let’s dance. This _is_ a party, after all.”

Maya leaned her head against her hand, admiring the girl before her. Erin had dyed her hair a cotton-candy pink, which was styled into tight vintage curls. Her lips were stained a soft blush, highlighting her flushed cheeks and charcoal-lined eyes. Maya had spent every day of summer vacation with Erin—strolls around the park, noisy subway rides, lazy days inside—but Erin managed to take Maya’s breath away each time she saw her.

Maya remembered the first time she saw Erin like it was yesterday—Her paint-stained hands; her bold red lips; her shimmery purple hair. She remembered the first time they kissed—Erin’s hand in her hair, her breath against her skin; her deep red lips; her blush. She remembered the first time Erin introduced her to her parents—Erin’s fingers intertwined with hers, nervously tightening; her deep gray eyes; her soft brown hair, dyed back to her original color; her hard, plain lips; her white cheeks. Her parents’ nervous smiles. The fluttering in Maya’s chest, the weight that lifted from her shoulders. Maya had been with her for two years, yet she was still discovering new facets of her girlfriend—her playful shyness; her startling innocence, her unabashed optimism. Her snarkiness and wit that always amused but never hurt. Her teasing and coyness that lit Maya’s blood on fire.

Erin caught her staring and raised a penciled eyebrow. Maya smiled sweetly.

“Drinks first?” Maya asked innocently, batting her eyelashes. Erin rolled her eyes with a grin.

“And I suppose I will be getting those drinks?” She asked sarcastically. Maya beamed at her.

“Well, I would never force you to get us drinks but since you’re offering…” Erin groaned and walked to the open bar, pausing to shoot Maya a dirty look. _‘You owe me an extra dance,’_ she mouthed before stomping away. Maya chuckled, watching her pink hair streak through the crowd before returning her attention to the happy couple.

 

“I’m going to make her dance for an hour—no, two hours,” Erin vowed under her breath, making her way through the crowd. She could feel Maya burning a hole into her back and she smiled mischievously, adding a little swing to her step. Her smirk quickly faded as she approached the empty bar. She groaned and looked around, but none of the staff were free. With a small sigh, she jumped behind the bar and grabbed for the grenadine syrup.

“One Shirley Temple and one Coke, please,” a male voice drawled, forcing her to look up. Green eyes met her gray ones, and she shot him a sheepish look.

“Yeah, I don’t work here. But the bartender was gone so…” she said, turning her attention back to her glass. She filled two cups with ice and rummaged around for the ginger ale.

“So you’re just mixing your own?” He asked, leaning against the bar casually. She laughed and popped a can open with a satisfying crack.

“Yup,” she affirmed confidently, mixing the soda with the grenadine. He laughed and shrugged.

“Fair enough,” he said, turning away. She grabbed a coke and poured it into a cup.

“Here, don’t forget your drinks,” she said, putting the cups on the bar. He turned back and smiled, startled but thankful.

“Thanks. You didn’t have to,” he said, grabbing the drinks. She shrugged and returned his smile.

“I know,” she grinned cockily, grabbing two more cups and mixing herself some Shirley Temples. He laughed again and they quickly fell into easy conversation.

 

Maya tapped her foot and looked towards the bar, craning her head to see Erin. _Where is she?_ She scanned her eyes across the room, her gaze finally landing on soft pink hair. But that couldn’t be, that woman was behind the bar mixing drinks. _Unless—_

Maya laughed and stood, making her way to the bar. A man leaned against the bar, laughing at something Erin said and waving his hands in agreement. Maya raised an eyebrow and approached the couple.

“What are you doing back there?” Maya asked playfully, sidling up to the bar and planting her elbows against the wood. Erin turned and blushed, her lips pulled into a sheepish grin.

“The bartender was gone so…” Maya laughed and shook her head.

“So you filled in for him? You’ve been taking orders this whole time?” A burst of laughter escaped before she could stop it and Maya clutched her stomach, one hand slapping the bar as she gasped between giggles. Erin scowled playfully at her and swatted her with a towel.

“I was _socializing_ ,” she defended weakly, only sending Maya into another fit of laugher.

“She was talking to me,” a male voice drawled to her right, startling her out of her hiccups. Maya turned, her gaze falling onto a small smile and startling green eyes.

“Hi, Maya,” Lucas said softly. Erin looked from Maya to Lucas and back again, trying to find the unspoken connection.

“Hey Lucas, it’s good to see you,” Maya returned after a pause. _What do I do?_ He shifted from foot to foot, his mouth set into a deep line of discomfort. She had expected to feel resentful, but the only thing that weighed on her was the awkwardness that hung between them. _We deserve to move on._ She gave him an easy smile, a familiar fondness for her once-friend enveloping her.

Lucas’ lips stretched hesitantly, his tense shoulders slowly matching Maya’s relaxed ones. Erin’s eyes lit in recognition, mild horror whitening her face.

“Wait, is this the guy who—”

“Lucas, do you need help with the drinks?” A bubbly voice called to their right. A smiling brunette linked her arm around Lucas’, her brown eyes staring adoringly at his face. Maya braced herself for the familiar twinge of jealousy, the well-acquainted wince of pain. But, to her surprise and relief, she felt nothing.

Erin made her way around the bar, resting an arm possessively around Maya’s waist. Maya eased into an amiable smile, giving Erin a soothing lean. Riley’s eyes followed the movements, freezing on Maya and widening with alarm. Her eyes darted nervously to Lucas, who squeezed her arm reassuringly. Riley bit her lip, working her throat in a desperate effort to say something. The air grew thick with awkward anticipation.

“Hey,” Riley blurted, her cheeks immediately burning a deep red. Erin tightened her arm around Maya, and Maya grinned at her, glowing in Erin’s obvious possessiveness. _You don’t have anything to be afraid of,_ she silently reassured with an affectionate glance. _I’m over it._

“Hey,” Maya returned, shooting Riley a small smile. Riley opened her mouth, fumbling for words that wouldn’t come. Maya raised her eyebrows expectantly.

“Hey,” Riley finally repeated, the blush traveling to the tips of her ears and down her neck. Lucas chuckled and bumped Riley playfully.

“Hey,” he said, the laughter in his voice immediately clearing the awkward tension. Erin grinned at both of them, her arm around Maya loosening a little.

“Hey,” Erin laughed. Farkle bounded up to them, a goofy smile spread across his face.

“What’d I miss?” He asked excitedly, connecting the two couples as he threw an arm around Maya and Riley. They all shared a look and grinned, Farkle glancing between them expectantly.

“You’re supposed to say ‘Hey,’ Farkle,” Maya said, and Farkle shot her a confused look.

“Hey?” He said hesitantly, and they all laughed.

Farkle turned to Erin, who took pity and explained the joke. Maya smiled at Riley and the noise of the room, Farkle’s protests, Lucas and Erin’s laughter—it all fell away into a quiet peace. Riley returned her smile and Maya could only think of the laughs that they had shared, the comfort and solace that their friendship had brought. Maya looked Riley in the eye, and in that moment Riley knew—knew that Maya was happy, knew that she had moved on, knew that she had forgiven her and that they were going to be okay. Riley gave her a small nod, tears of relief filling her eyes. They were finally going to be okay.

“Hey.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU to all who continued with my story until the end or posted a comment. The encouragement was wonderful and mind-boggling. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing and posting it :) I'm trying to write another fic, but I'm suffering from major writer's block. Would anyone be interested in a Maya/Erin side-story? (Maybe just a fluffy one-shot?) Please feel free to comment with suggestions or prompts, I would love any and all ideas :) You can also email me at bellememoire123@gmail.com.


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